There’s Less Love In Your Relationship Than You Think

Let me ask you a question: on a scale of 1-10, how well do you love your partner on a daily basis?

1 being the love isn’t really there and 10 being that there’s love in every single thing you do.

I ask this question because while most of us would say love is at the core of our relationship, it’s often missing in how we treat our partner once it becomes inconvenient to do.

If we’re really honest with ourselves, many of the habits we bring to our relationship don’t come from a place of love, but from a place of pride, selfishness or whatever else we may be feeling.


[column size="1/2"]

We say love is respect, but in those moments where we disagree with our partner, we cut them off or go out of our way to prove them wrong because we feel our point is more valid.

We say to love is to seek understanding, but whenever our partner does something we don’t get, instead of trying to understand where they're coming from, we dismiss their behavior as crazy or stupid.


[column size="1/2"]

A video posted by Jay Cadet (@jaycadet) on

[/column] [/row]

We say to love means to forgive. So do you forgive your partner when they wrong you? Or do you hold grudges in your heart until they end up spilling out during an argument at a later time.

I can go on and on, but I think you get the point.

What’s crazy is how often we make excuses to justify that behavior as well.

It’s like, “If he would just listen to me, I wouldn’t have to shout at him!” or “If she would just stop nagging me, I wouldn’t resort to ignoring her."

But herein lies the problem so many couples get sucked into. Reacting to pride with pride. Or reacting to selfishness with selfishness.

This only creates a cycle of dysfunction that builds on the issues you’re already having. The only way to end that dysfunction is to learn that how you respond or react to your partner is a choice.

You can choose to respond from a place of love. Or you can choose to respond from a place of pride. Regardless of what your partner does, that choice is 100% yours to make.

It isn’t always a convenient choice, either. It’s tough. But that’s where the effort required to make a relationship work in the long run comes in.

That means choosing to maintain a respectful tone during an argument, even if your partner gets a bit aggressive. That means choosing to accept the fact that your partner isn’t perfect and not holding them up to an ideal that’s impossible to achieve.

At the end of the day, we can all improve our relationships by making a conscious effort to choose love instead of reacting in a negative way.

If you're a 7 on that scale of 1-10 I asked you about earlier, what’s one thing you can do today to bring that up to an 8? If you’re a 5, how can you bring that up to a 6?

Take some time to reflect or just ask your partner for suggestions. I’m sure they’ll have a few to offer.

So fill me in on the number one thing you’ll be doing to bring those numbers up! Leave a comment in the comment section and let me know.