How Quality Time Will Make Or Break Your Relationship
If you’re anything like Zaz and I, you’re probably gearing up to get some new plants for your home or apartment as the spring comes around.
Also, if you’re anything like us, those plants will mostly likely be dead in a few months.
The thing is, we love plants. But as much as we love them, we just don’t ever put in the time and effort it takes to keep them healthy for the long run.
We have great intentions at the outset, but after a while, watering them twice a week becomes infrequent enough for them to begin to wither away. At which point we might push hard to revive them, but it’s often too late.
Lack Of Time Spent
Now what does this have to do with relationships? Well, one complaint I hear from couples way too often is that their relationship is suffering because they don’t spend enough quality time with each other.
The way Zaz and I are with plants is the way many people are about their relationship. At the outset, they invest all their time and energy with each other, but once they get comfortable in the relationship, other things become priority.
Work, side projects, friends, social media, family, etc.
The fact is, there’s no substitute for time spent together in a relationship. Doing so is what builds intimacy and opens up communication, which in turn, strengthens your connection.
Without spending time, you create an emotional distance between you and your partner. When there’s distance between you, it’s more difficult to feel heard and understood, more difficult to resolve disagreements and more difficult to even just enjoy each other without feeling the rift.
It doesn’t matter how much you want to be in the relationship or how much you really like the person you’re with. Without intentionally making time to spend with each other, your relationship just won’t work out in the long run.
Quality Over Quantity
Now, I understand that you might have a busy lifestyle and have to juggle multiple responsibilities. I also understand that we all go through seasons of our lives when we have a lot on our plates. And there’s nothing wrong with that.
Be mindful and respectful of each other’s schedules and responsibilities, but get creative in how you can also handle the responsibility of meeting each other’s needs. That should never be put on that back burner.
Remember that when it comes to making time for your relationship, the key word is QUALITY, not QUANTITY.
It doesn’t necessarily mean having a dinner date every Thursday and spending the whole night out on the town. It can mean doing something simple, like trying a new recipe together or playing cards over some wings and a bottle of wine.
An hour or two of QUALITY time spent is better than an entire evening spent binge-watching Netflix and passing out on the couch. The point is that the focus is on “us” instead of “me”.
Learn From Long Distance Couples
We can even take a page out of the way long distance couples make their relationships work as well. They’re often thousands of miles apart, yet they find ways to stay connected daily.
Again, from simple things like sending texts throughout the day and face timing at night, or just having a good digital convo over a meal, they make that time together a priority because they know things won’t work without it.
And when they finally come together, they make sure that whatever bit of time they do have is as meaningful as possible.
This is something the rest of us can learn and put into practice.
Our relationships aren’t going to thrive on their own. So let’s not get comfortable or complacent with them. Let’s continue to be intentional about nurturing them with whatever they need to thrive. And quality time is high on that list.
So what are your thoughts? In what ways do you and your partner make sure you get to spend quality time with each other during busy seasons? How has it improved your relationship?
Leave a comment and let me know.