Why Who Said What and When Doesn't Matter
One moment, you’re just reminiscing and feeling good and the next moment, you’re getting more and more frustrated that your mate can’t seem to remember what you REALLY said during that conversation.
"I didn't say that."
"Yes you did!"
"How could I have even said that? I don’t even believe that to be true, let alone me try to make that point. You have a terrible memory!"
Oh, if only if you could rewind back to that moment to prove them wrong.
I happens to the best of us. And wouldn't you agree the image above is how it makes you feel?
Why Arguing About It Doesn't Help
As the old saying goes, “There are 3 sides to every story. His story, her story and the truth.” And way too often do we get caught up in trying to prove that our version is the 'right' one.
The fact is, our memory of what’s taken place in the past is often skewed based on our own interpretation of what things mean and what we were paying attention to in that moment.
Have you ever watched a movie with your mate and then walked away with different perspectives on how things went down in it? It happens all the time.
At the end of the day, it’s important to accept the fact that your truths won’t always line up 100%.
Focus On Moving Forward
While there are plenty things you need to be on the same page about in your relationship (like your views on commitment and what your values are), trivial things like how you commented on a random situation that took place 6 months ago are not worth the fighting and the frustration.
And if there was a misunderstanding about something important? Stop and take a moment to give each other the opportunity to express where you stand on it NOW. Because moving forward, that’s all that really matters.
Arguing about what happened will keep you stuck in the past. Accepting that you simply might have remembered it differently and giving each other the opportunity to set the record straight is how you move forward.
Having disagreements is something that every couple experiences. A part of staying sane in your relationship is having the ability to discern which disagreements are worth remedying and which ones to stay away from.
A great question you can ask yourself in the moment is, "Will this matter a month from now?"
And if not, let it go.